I was trying to explain to someone (whom we shall refer to, in the interests of confidentiality, as... Ivan) what exactly a feminist is... A pressing question, you may agree, and surprisingly hard to answer objectively.
After all there are lots of different ideas around feminism, a variety of different things that we stand for, a selection of different sorts, if you will, of 'Feminists'. BUT there must be some shared values, some shared aims, something that we all intrinsically share a belief in and i suppose it is our fight for equality. I suppose, at the face of it, a feminist is someone who believes that people should be equal no matter their gender. That's what people should ask themselves when deciding whether they ought to be labelled a feminist (http://areyouafeminist.com).
Ivan: Yeah ok cool. But what else? What else makes you a feminist?
There are so many different ideas that are debated, explored and considered within feminist circles that it is impossible to create a comprehensive list of requirements for a feminist that is any longer than 'you believe in gender equality' and that makes Feminism tricky to define. But why does it need to be defined further than that, really? That's what i told Ivan anyway.
But if one does not provide any other characteristics of a feminist, then inevitably the question arises...
Ivan: Ok... Then why doesn't everyone who thinks women should be equal, call themselves feminists?
And here i start to get a little confused. Because... well... why don't they?
Feminists have been made into angry, man-hating, promiscuous and fanatic women who repeatedly wake up on the wrong side of the bed and proceed to scream down people who dare to question them as they work their Godzilla-like way through the world. Now i will admit that i have certainly had my moments, but i don't think that the femonster is really a very accurate depiction of the modern feminist, nor a particularly appealing one. Aggression is not a prerequisite for feminism and it never has been. Determination, defensiveness, strength of will, defiance and passion, maybe. But never down right aggression. It is this stigma and unattractiveness that is defining feminism and it is this poor and ignorant definition that is driving people away and making feminism into a so called 'dirty word'...
So here's a little poem about feminism that i have written for you...
(generous tokens of your gratitude will be accepted gladly)
Feminism isn’t a dirty word.
But I’m afraid that it’s becoming more than
that…
It’s becoming a dirty concept in our
cupcake crusted world
Because It’s only women on the front of the
cath kidston catalogue,
And it’s mostly only women at the school
fete selling candy floss in the rain,
And they say it’s only women organizing
coffee for the PTA,
And only mums that organize that asda price
Christmas that we are all meant long for.
And it just happens to be mum who is left
without a chair-
Afterall it’s only mums that go to Iceland.
And they reduced Kate Middleton to a
pair of tits and a baby bump because that’s all anyone’s interested in… that’s
what makes good reading.
It's a boy!
Oh. Joy.
It’s all you and your wedding and your
kitchen sink
Your man will build the kitchen as long as
you don’t think
Because thinking is a man’s job. Obvs.
And it’s all B&Q and planning for the
future with your husband’s ISA just in case you go and get pregnant- gosh. How bloody
inconsiderate of you.
But don’t get an abortion. This might be your
only chance.
And you’ve got to shave your way to the top
nowadays
With your inner goddess released maybe you
can achieve your dream of popstardom- right, venus?
But if I’m honest I never aspired to be
Beyonce or Mylie Cyrus.
The thing is that whether Gok tells you
you’re an apple, a pear or a piece of glassware
You are still a human being.
And it doesn’t matter if you don’t dress to
your shape.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t date
Because there is totez such a thing as true
love and fate- (They told me that in Closer. Apparently we like to read that
shit.)
Forget the princess stories that they force
fed you at school
Forget the myths about women growing
parsley better and that you aren’t good enough because you’re not thin and
tall.
Forget about the wolf whistles and the
gentlemens’ gestures
Forget about needing to wear makeup and
bowing down to society’s pressure.
Forget about the people who tell you that
time is ticking, that you need to settle down.
Because time is ticking for everyone and
everything and it won’t stop ticking if you get round.
Forget about the bastards who tell you to
calm down when you say something valid
Forget about that bikini body that you
need: no carbs, no sugar, no fun, just salad.
Your voice is not pointless just because it
didn’t break.
We need to get that femen juice flowing
through our veins…
We’re not after world domination
Just a basic level of appreciation for the
fact that women have…. Brains.
Oh. My. Days.
Because feminism isn’t a dirty word, ok?
ok? good. Glad we cleared that one up.
signing off,
Vida
mwah.
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